Bakura Rain
by Seijoutai Priire
Summary: ~Seijoutai Priire comes face to face with a man who loves her...and whishes she knew what love was. StarMoon (Charecters with Sailor Moon-like powers int he Star Wars Universe.)~
1. ~Keeping Up Apperances~

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Bakura Rain: Keeping Up Appearances

No planet has rain like Bakura. I know I say that about all planets...but somehow Bakura is special. There's a constant drizzle here that keeps everything moist and fresh. All the leaves of the planets drip with excess water that would be worth a fortune on Tatooine. The planet is beautiful in its extravagance.

Besides, Bakura is the planet of love.

Love...now there's a thought. The most pointless of emotions. Wasteful, weakening...it's right up there with Destiny on my list. And—just my luck—I have to deal with both of them.

That's one of the reasons I was out in Annika's rain. Her planet seemed to sigh with me and drape misty rain around my body. Somehow, the gentle, inviting rain made all my troubles wash away.

~*~*~*~*~

I sat there, in the misting rain forever, it seemed. I could see the water gather on flowers that had colors more vibrant than any had a right to be. Like I said earlier, the planet was beautiful in its extravagance.

Unfortunately, I could also see into the palace window. Silhouetted there was a girl with buns in her hair. Ondago, the Earthborns called them. I could tell she was getting ready to come out to my rain-clocked sanctuary...sithspit. I just wanted to be alone. I just wanted to get...sorted out.

See...there's this guy. Named Kousotsu. Sometime long ago, his past-self and my past-self (who was a princess, if you can imagine that) were lovers. I didn't know that until recently when he risked his life to save me. To save...me. I'm the one most unworthy of being saved.

And there was something when he held me that day. Like a memory, only more intense. Like...like something brushed against my soul and sent shivers up my spine.

That was just before he kissed me. Well, I suppose to be honest, it was mutual.

Sure, I'd been kissed before. By countless people. It's not like it was anything unique for a highly placed mercenary to go...manizing, I suppose you could say. No, nothing like that. Any rumors involving the Hawkbat sleeping around are just that. Nasty rumors that I started to separate myself from...well, myself. And sometimes, keeping up appearances is important.

So I know what the physical actions of love are but...I don't know what love is. Real love. The abuse life has given me has all but destroyed what capacity I may have once had for love.

What's really funny is that sometimes it's like a memory. Like I'm remembering a feeling I should have for Kousotsu. Remembering something from a long time ago that has no bearing on today. Remembering something buried inside of me that I have no control over. I hate not being in control.

"You're going to catch cold."

That wasn't Annika's voice. Unless, of course, Annika had been taking lessons from a Wookie. I turned to look. Standing in the misty rain—just as I had almost feared—was Kousotsu. I don't know what emotions my face reflected, but a million were passing behind it. Anger, annoyance, surprise, joy, wariness...just to name a few. Maybe I was even afraid. Sith, I hate not being in control.

"Do...do you want to go in?" he asked, sounding unsure.

I settled myself back on the bench. "No." There was a pause. "I like it out here."

"It's raining."

"I know," I told him, a little annoyed. "I love the rain. It's refreshing...it makes me feel clean."

He seemed to process that for a minute. "Can I sit down?"

I'm sure that's how normal girlfriends and boyfriends act. Ugh. It sounds wrong, even in my mind. This whole charade doesn't seem real. "Sure." I moved over a little so he'd have more room. Oh—that's another thing that bothers me. I hate being touched. Usually.

"Look," he sighed after a few moments. "I'm sorry about everything that's happened. It doesn't seem real sometimes."

That brought a smile to my face. "Well, that's one thing we've got in common."

He looked confused, so I decided to enlighten him. "It doesn't seem real to me, either. Like a dream. Or...a nightmare, sometimes."

"Really?" He seemed surprised. "But you've lived in this all your life." He indicated the world with his hand

I closed my eyes and sighed. "No. Not like this." I guess the pain I was feeling inside showed on my face because he put a hand on my shoulder. I did my best not to flinch...but...

"You know...this isn't going to work if you won't trust me," Kousotsu said softly. I could hear the raindrops cresendoing around us as if they were agreeing. Maybe they were. Who knows?

Besides, I had to admit he was right. Nothing was going to ever happen between us if I didn't let go of my appearances. But I was...scared. Me! The Hawkbat, the woman who feared nothing...I was scared. "I can't..." I didn't get any farther than that as my eyes locked on his crystal blue orbs. I hadn't realized they were so beautiful...

The rain suddenly fell on us, harder in a pounding Bakuran thunderstorm. I shook my head, sending water flying. "I don't know how," I confessed, hurting. I'd never really had to totally trust anyone. There was always an element of mistrust in all of my dealings.

"It's all right," he told me. Gently, he put his arms around me and pulled me close. I was surprised that I let him. Frankly, I was surprised at most of this. I didn't know anything about love and here was someone asking that of me.

I looked up into his eyes and searched them, desperately. I couldn't find anything in him, save for acceptance. "You don't even know me," I said, my voice quietly desperate. "You don't know who I've been or what I've done or the evil things that I've been."

He shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I'll take the good in you with the bad. It's part of who you are."

"But I don't think you know how much bad you're getting."

I turned away and freed myself. Standing up, I began to walk out into the rain.

"Priire..." he said.

My name spilling off his lips was like an intoxicating spell. I turned back to him and looked for a moment. He was silhouetted in the rain against the light colored palace wall. The distance between us was so short that he could have reached out and taken my arm, if he'd wanted to...but he didn't. He let me walk off.

It's times like this that I wish I knew what love was.


	2. ~Letting Go~

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Bakura Rain: Letting Go

Exhilarating! That's the only word I have for all-out-no-holds-barred fights. The adrenaline just goes to my head and makes me a little crazy. Crazy in an intense, focused way that lets me concentrate my entire self on my opponents. I love it!

I spun and kicked the teeth out of one of the aforementioned evil beings. Arg, I probably also just flashed the entire planet. I _hate_ skirts.

Yeah, An—excuse me, _Bakura_ was blushing. Considering most of our opponents used some version of the Force, I was careful to refer to my friends by their planet-names even in my thoughts. Never knew who might be listening in.

Let's see. I darted my eyes around, looking to see who was doing what. Catching Yavin's eye, I winked. "Asteroid Gravity Force!" I shouted. Perfect. The attack rooted a group of the...things in place, leaving them open to Yavin's corusca gem attack. Mmm, I love it when a plan comes together.

"I wish it would stop raining," Tatooine complained. She's not really from Tatooine...but from an Earth place called Australia.

I laughed. "I love the rain."

"Me too!" Bakura echoed, excited. She'd taken her eyes off the evil things, unfortunately. That gave them opportunity to try and kill her.

I'm really not used to working in these circumstances. Usually, I compile groups of highly trained and talented individuals and threaten them into teams. Hey. It works. I'm _not_ used to having a team compiled of inexperienced fighters with supernatural powers. And what do you call supernatural enemies, anyway? Demons? Evils? Bad guys? Baka? That's an Earth word, by the way. A few years ago I would have called my enemies "law enforcement".

"Bakura!" I shouted, pointing at her. Even through the mist, people were able to see the senshi was in trouble. One of the things had its hands around her neck and was draining her power in a pink cloud.

Uhg. _Pink_.

I shook the rain out of my bangs and stared at the pair for a long time. Three or four seconds tops. All the different variables dashed through my mind at lightening speed...the other senshi, their personalities and powers, the rain, the evils, the fact that Bakura was blocking any big attack I could have made...

Before anyone else could do anything, I produced a blaster. I really wasn't sure where it came from. Apparently, senshi can conjure up things. I'd seen Vjun do it with the Redemption Crystal and had done it with the gem myself. Now, there was a blaster in my hands. I let instinct as I locked my sights on the demon thing. Perfect. There was very little margin for error...but I wasn't the Hawkbat for nothing.

Just before I pulled the trigger, the evil thing looked very surprised and evaporated. I looked around, and realized I'd forgotten to factor in Tuxedo Jedi. Sithspit.

~*~*~*~*~

"You should have kissed him!" Mori gushed.

I looked at her horrified. "Kissed _who_?" I demanded. Unfortunately, I had a pretty good idea of who "him" was.

"_Kousotsu_!" Annika responded, proving my guess. Just great.

I rolled my eyes at them and sighed. "I don't see why I should have."

Mori focused her deep green eyes on me seriously. "Because," she explained, "you two are destined loves and that's _romantic_."

I made gagging noises. "Give me a break. I don't deal in romance or love _or_ destiny!"

Annika didn't look like she believed me. "You two are in love. You ought to show that!" She sighed. "I want to fall in love some day!"

"How can I be in love with him?" I protested. "I don't even know him."

"Sure you do," Mori responded. "In the past you..."

I held up my hands to stop her. I felt mean at this point, but pushed on anyway. "Let me clarify something for you. '_In the past'_ is not now. It's the past, ok? It's not fair to say you love someone just based on the fact that there was something between your past-self and his past-self. So..."

Annika was shaking her head by this time. "Love is love. And there's love between you; I can feel it!" She looked serious. "You're crazy in love with him...but you've got to open yourself to it."

I laughed softly. "Annika...I'm not going to say I love someone just because I 'should'. And there's nothing to open myself to." I think I got snappy on the last past. I hate being open with people. It makes me vulnerable. And that's dangerous. You never know who might be an information broker.

"You're in love with him! You just think it's because of your past life," Annika informed me. "But it isn't...not all of it..." She could tell I wasn't listening to her. And I wasn't. She was wrong, all wrong.

I stood up and stretched. Just as I did, I heard a voice. "Priire...we need to talk."

It was Kousotsu and he had his hand on my shoulder...I guess I blushed because Annika mouthed "Told you so."

~*~*~*~*~

"Priire..."

I looked at him. I didn't know what to say to the question he hadn't asked, so I just looked. Like always—or almost always—on Bakura, it was raining. A little harder than yesterday's slow drizzle, but I could still see him through the watery veil. Crystalline blue eyes, black hair, handsome face...he seemed to be everything one would want in a "perfect" boyfriend. But we were so unbelievably different. I'd rather fight, but he was more of an encourager. I was a mercenary...ex-mercenary, but still a mercenary...and he was a Jedi. We even came from two different galaxies!

"I think that you need to let yourself go."

I looked a little confused. "What do you mean?" I asked him.

He looked at me with those intense blue eyes and spoke just a little louder than the rain. "I think you're holding on to the image you have of yourself as unlovable and you're not letting you accept the changes that have happened to you."

"Huh?" I refused to understand.

Kousotsu stared at me for a long time, then spoke. "You've got to open up and let yourself go. I want to love you, but you aren't letting me."

"What if I do open up to you?" I asked. I didn't know if he'd heard me, I spoke so softly. '_What if there isn't anything there?_'

I was fairly sure I'd only thought the last part, but he heard it anyway.

"What if there is?"

I looked down, analyzing the situation, trying to make the best decision I could...then I stopped.

He...he touched my hand and I didn't feel tense or anything...I didn't even move. "You've got to trust me," he said softly. It was almost like I _felt_ the words rather than heard them.

I closed my eyes and opened my mouth to say "I do" but I didn't get any farther than gather my breath to speak before he understood. He leaned even closer then...our lips just barely touched before I knew everything was all right and he was someone I could trust. With that out of the way, I lost myself in his touch.

Seijoutai Priire, the Hawkbat, mercenary-for-hire was head over heels in love. Funny, huh?


	3. ~No Promises~

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Bakura Rain: No Promises

Ok. Quick recap. We're on Bakura. I'm being my normal half-brained self. Kousotsu is being a gentleman. Mori and Annika are being mushy. I'm being an idiot. Bad guys attack. Foreshadow-y stuff happens, and then this whole Love And Destiny thing comes to a head. Have I mentioned I'm being an idiot?

~*~*~*~*~

"Kousotsu! Look at me! I'm broken, hurt! You're getting a defective model here." Frustrated, I tried to think of something else to say, but I couldn't. We'd...well, _I'd_ been arguing. More with myself than Kousotsu. Finally, I just held out my hands, protesting. My hands...my scarred hands...gah, sometimes I'm so obsessed with my own scars. They remind me of who I was and how much of a potential there is for me to become her again. How many wrong things I've done...how evil I am...how unlovely I am...

He smiled at me. "I love you."

Why did that make it all better? It even made me smile. "You do, don't you."

I have to admit he looks cute when he's confused. He nodded, unsure exactly where I was going with this.

"But I'm not that great of a person," I complained again. "I'm not even very pretty."

He smiled at me, like he'd been doing the whole time. "That doesn't matter. Besides, I think you're beautiful."

I'm fairly sure I blushed. Not that I'm not used to guys telling me I'm beautiful...it's just usually in prelude to some type of lewd suggestion. He _meant_ it. I smiled and leaned back against him. Just yesterday I would have been terrified out of my mind to be this close. It still scared me a little...but I'd made up my mind to trust him. I guess we aren't like most lovers.

"I...I can't make any promises," I whispered. "I don't know how."

I felt him playing with one of the braids my hair was braided into. "That's ok," he said, his breath warm on my cheek. "I don't need promises."

~*~*~*~*~

It was just right—coming to terms with this all on Bakura. The decadent gardens, dripping with a watery bounty, were the perfect backdrop for a forlorn mercenary and an out-of-place Jedi to fall in love. Or—for me at least—let go.

It's kind of funny, in a way. Before all of this, keeping to myself and not letting anyone close was my only means of survival...now it's all different. Now I can't do anything without thinking of Kousotsu. I think about how he'd react and even—get this!—what he'd think of me for doing it! Me! Worried about what someone might think, especially a guy. It seems ridiculous.

Most of this I can't even believe. That someone..._anyone_ would love _me_, even thought I'm so imperfect and so ugly sometimes? I guess I don't understand. I wonder if I ever will.

And I wonder if we'll ever "have a song" like most lovers do. If we ever do, then I want "You're My Home". It's a Billy Joel song...he's an Earth singer. Coru gets me records from Earth every once and a while. "When look into my eyes and you see the crazy gypsy in my soul, it always comes as a surprise when I feel my withered roots begin to grow. Well, I never had a place I could call my very own, but that's all right, my love, because you're my home."

Now that I know what I've been missing, I think I'd die without it. It's almost like a drug. I can't get enough and just thinking about him makes me glow. I can't promise that I'll always be true—because I don't know how—but I'll give this crazy trip my all. And somehow...I think that's good enough.


End file.
